There are more than 300 neighbors in my condo, and somehow I frequently shared the elevator and common building places with this very delightful woman. I didn’t know her name or anything about her, but we always exchanged a few words during those two minutes we shared.
On the same day of my marketing campaign offering my personal and executive coaching services, I got an email inquiring about my services from a woman called Hamira. We agreed to meet in a cafe, and to my surprise, the delightful woman from my building showed up!
After a couple of coaching sessions the pieces of the puzzle started to come together. Now I understood why she barely spoke when her husband was with her; why she wore dark glasses after dark; and why she wore that arm brace because of “slipping” and falling in her apartment.
After years of emotional and physical abuse, she was now facing infidelity. Her husband was seeing a much younger immigrant woman they had even welcomed in their home, and was using Hamira’s credit card to pay for expensive dinners, gifts and hourly hotel accommodations. Why Hamira’s credit card? Because he didn’t have a job and she was the one who provided a more than comfortable living for their family of five.
Despite all this, her question was: “what did I do wrong? He keeps on saying everything is my fault. I must have done something wrong”. And thus, our intense coaching work began.
Hamira’s life focused on her work and her family. She had a high executive position in a large company, where she was highly respected and known for her assertive and candid personality. She left work to go directly home to her husband and children, to cook dinner and tend to household chores. She wished for some time for herself to go to the gym or occasionally meet with girlfriends, but her husband did not allow her to. She was the perfect wife, mother and executive and yet “she was doing everything wrong”.
With work, love, compassion and patience we started to bring Hamira’s strengths from work to her personal life. She slowly started to discover that “what she was doing wrong” was to give control of her life to an individual who did not respect her, honor her or appreciate her.
After several attempts to have an adult conversation with her husband, it became clear to her that she was ready to let him go, and most importantly, that she was ready to rescue herself from the dreadful life she had been living. She asked him to leave the apartment, packed his things, looked for a lawyer to legalize her new status of “free woman” and went on with her life!
Hamira has come a looooong way. There are no more broken bones or bruises, and the internal wounds are slowly healing allowing her more space for wholesomeness and happiness each day.
The scars shall remain, to remind her of the incredible power she has to choose the type of partner and the type of life she wants for herself. We will surrender only to our essence and to our right for dignity and respect.
By sharing Hamira’s story, other women out there who are living a similar situation will know that there is hope of a different life. We only have to choose it. You are not alone, all the women part of the STAMINA IN ACTION movement have your back. This is a safe place where inspiration, mentoring and coaching meet, to offer tools and guidance to set your power free!
Mavalynne & The Stamina in Action Team